Written By Redbird Therapy
I’m sure we can all relate to that sinking feeling setting in when life doesn’t go as planned. Whether that’s the loss of a job, a health setback, a relationship ending, financial challenges, or a creative roadblock.
While setbacks can leave us feeling unsettled, discouraged, or stuck, they can also be opportunities to learn how to cope with them differently and openings for growth. We will be exploring some common questions relating to navigating setbacks in life in this blog post.
Why Do Setbacks Impact Us So Much?
Setbacks are often a reminder of the things in life that matter to us deeply.
They can bring up strong emotional responses, especially since they can challenge our sense of control, identity, or plans for the future.
Because we’re human, it’s only natural to feel stressed, doubtful, anxious, fearful and disappointed in these moments. Most often, these emotions can feel more overwhelming than the actual setback itself, bringing up questions about our role in causing the setback.
What Are Common Pitfalls To Watch Out For?
Setbacks are commonly accompanied by negative self-talk.
It can be easy for many of us to jump to the conclusion that one setback or failure must mean that “I am always a failure”.
Additionally, repeatedly blaming external circumstances or perpetually feeling like a victim to life’s circumstances can result in us feeling like we’ve lost our sense of agency. This can leave us feeling stuck, and potentially get in the way of moving forward.
Conversely, rushing to move past the pain caused by setbacks can prevent us from pausing, reflecting on the journey, and processing the emotions associated with it. In the effort to “be on track” or “be strong”, we may inadvertently make the healing process harder for ourselves.
How Does Resilience Play A Role With Navigating Setbacks?
Resilience is a key factor in coping with setbacks and challenging life circumstances.
Rather than letting our challenging feelings or thoughts dictate the path forward, resilience invites a sense of curiosity around what the path forward might look like.
Rather than being reactive, resilience invites us to pause, examine the reasons that caused the setback. This shifts the internal perspective from a lens of failure, to one of feedback.
What can I learn from this setback? What went wrong? Where can I do something different moving forward?
Resilience also helps us reduce isolation, because it invites us to recognize when to seek help. Reaching out to our support systems not only help us feel less alone, but also gives us perspective, and makes setbacks feel more manageable.
To listen to our clinicians at Redbird speak more in depth about navigating setbacks, check out our educational video on this topic.
